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I THOUGHT I COULDN’T BE GAY AND TRANS

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It's Transgender Day of Visibility and my podcast, Transmission, is coming back! What a day! To talk about why both of those things are important, I tell you the story of how thinking I couldn't be trans AND gay kept me in the closet for fourteen years. Wheeeee! SUBSCRIBE TO THE POD: http://bit.ly/transmissionpod (Also on Google Play, Stitcher, and wherever you get your podcasts (except Spotify... yet)) TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY "10 Things You Can Do for Transgender Day of Visibility" from TSER http://www.transstudent.org/tdovaction "On Trans Day of Visibility, Do More Than Make Yourself Seen" by Milo Primeaux https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2018/3/28/trans-day-visibility-do-more-make-yourself-seen MORE VIDEOS FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE: TRANS GUY ANSWERS MOST GOOGLED TRANS QUESTIONS https://youtu.be/5TPcc30Vu50 My ULTIMATE Trans Book Rec List https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DzxKTMOpp8 I AM NOT A #HOTTRANSGUY https://youtu.be/lme08mbxW0s Watch my Will It Waffle? series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1g3MXAZto6KukrudNbw4ifK4LR5wr_KN Or go to http://itwaffles.com Subscribe to my podcast, Transmission, and follow it on Twitter: Apple Podcasts https://t.co/YGysnPMqZL Stitcher https://t.co/uDBxbnE4cV SoundCloud https://t.co/CyzF4A8FNZ Google Play https://t.co/q30WNNSKzE Twitter https://twitter.com/TransmissionMC ===== Hi! My name's Jackson Bird and I make (hopefully) funny, (sometimes) educational videos for LGBTQ+ nerds like me and the people in our lives that want to understand us better. Here on JACKISNOTABIRD, you can find new videos every Wednesday answering big questions about LGBTQ+ issues, social justice, and what happens when you put gummy worms on a waffle iron. Wanna subscribe? http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=loraxism Beyond this channel, I'm a public speaker, podcaster, writer, and pub quiz host. You can learn more about my work at jacksonbird.cool If you want to hire me to speak at your school, event, or business, you can email my speaking bureau at [email protected] Please send other business inquiries to [email protected] DO YOU LIKE VINTAGE E-MAIL?? You can send me PHYSICAL ITEMS at Jackson Bird PO Box 3003 Astoria, NY 11103 STILL WANT MORE?? Check out my TED talk: go.ted.com/jacksonbird Listen to my podcast, Transmission, where I amplify the voices of transgender people of today: http://bit.ly/transmissionpod Get some of my merch at http://dftba.com/jacksonbird Follow me on these sites that are Not YouTube: http://twitter.com/jackisnotabird http://instagram.com/jackisnotabird http://yeti-mischief.tumblr.com http://facebook.com/jackisnotabird http://facebook.com/willitwafflevideos http://goodreads.com/jackisnotabird ===== This video brought to you in part by the following Patrons: Michelle Coleman Chris Frank Alison Gupta Samivaya JD Rachael Mreen Emily Neie Anna Nichols Becca Rhodes Will Shughart Sam Volpe Roonil Wazlib Want to join the Patreon community? http://patreon.com/jacksonbird ===== [CC] Contribute captions to any of my videos: http://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?tab=2&c=UCX4auhvsqthZe5Ncdf0xXLA YouTube's tips on captioning https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en
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Text Comments (480)
Brad Stevens (2 days ago)
Bla Bla you're still a woman
nnn reddie (3 days ago)
so your a straight man like me. right?
jobvanity (4 days ago)
Trans boy, message me 💖💖💖
MooseJ2468 (4 days ago)
im almost 24 been out 100% for 4-5 years. knew I was trans in high school but didn't really know what it was til til I started talking to my only trans friend at the time about it. hes younger than me we met in an unlikely place at a low time in our lives. but maybe its weird to say but he was like my first exposure to anything trans related. I didn't know shit about trans stuff. i did a lot of my own research before i went to him about it but i was still confused after talking to him about it im like yes someone gets it! he totally understood how i was feeling and its like yesss im not alone!
littlegingerwolf (9 days ago)
I am that person who grew up never realizing I was trans, never heard of the terms til I was in my early 20s and never ventured to explore my sexuality until I was 19 and yet STILL called myself 'gay' whenever I talked about liking guys. It always came out as a joke but looking back on it.... asking my cis gay male friends 'what kind of gay man would i be if...' is probably not what 'average' women ask their friends when discussing the subject XD I still don't consider myself gay now. Though I have a high preference for men and masculine individuals for the most part, i'm a bi trans man with lots of gay love to give!!!! <3
Zero beep Gacha (9 days ago)
I have a question im bi and trans and im confused let that sink in for a bit
Phoenix H (12 days ago)
In both my sexuality and my gender I had to learn to be able to accept it in other people before I could in myself first
Special Unicorns (1 month ago)
I think I am trans and gay
You are straight. Let explain. JUMBO DONETTES ARE DONUTS YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING
Uemochi (1 month ago)
It's actually surprising how many trans people only realize they're gay/bi after they transition...I guess it just shows that being actually comfortable in your body helps you understand OTHER things about yourself that you weren't aware of when you didn't feel...like yourself
Shawna Lineberry (1 month ago)
This is me, just in the mountains of Virginia xD it just took me until I was 27 to come out. Now 3 weeks shy of 29, I'm in the beginning stages of transitioning! Still pre-t, but my therapist is a bad ass!! She and I have a lot to work through, then I can see a gender therapist. I have also started a new job, from the start, as Colt and he/him 😊
Ha Zel (1 month ago)
Ur cute 😘😘😘😘
*~smol cream puff~* (1 month ago)
I am a trans man and I have the most handsome and supportive boyfriend ever! We are both bi btw
Christian Balagoza (1 month ago)
You look so attractive
Val Teytelman (1 month ago)
oh sweetie! i just came out.. and have the exact same story- except i was unknowingly transphobic for 25 effin years!.. also i think i was just subconsiously worried that even if there was such a thing as gay and trans that i would never be ale to find love like that and that was a scary thing. back then the only word i was given for how i felt was "tomboy" and there was no other language for it. after decades of pain and running and fighting, i heard a story very much like yours and it was liking watching myself in the mirror. it took me until i as 32 to piece together that I am in fact a gay trans man and that is a sad thing. trans representation in the media did not make it easy for me to figure out who i was and start blossoming into the fierce creature i am. Thank you for having the balls to do this so that your other trans bruddas can find their T!
Jakob Alexander (1 month ago)
Honestly, the first positive experience I ever had with trans people and culture was the one transguy I met in highschool. I'd been struggling internally with a lot of gender dysphoria, and he, as one of the first trans people in our "LGBT" group, was one of the first people to validate me for feeling how I do. I didn't feel like a misfit anymore.
C'sar (2 months ago)
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME omfg this whole video is a mood
Newt Lockstone (2 months ago)
You remind me so much of Ben Wyatt from parks and rec
Dawn Paolo Abes (2 months ago)
Compared to gay guys, dilemma is in a whole different level there my friend
Bailey Koevort (2 months ago)
First positive representation? Cavetown, because my parents would never had let me ever find out about trans people in case I became one. Newsflash parents, I was always trans, and also great
Swaying Trees (2 months ago)
My first positive rep. of a trans person was Mileschronicles (don't know if I'm spelling it right) because he is just freaking awesome.
Yoda (2 months ago)
I'm a bird KAWKAWKAWKAW
Elijah Ramsey (3 months ago)
Bro ur brother is a mouse Stuart and u didnt think u could be a dude?
Pretty Snazzy (3 months ago)
The first time I ever saw representation was on Netflix that movie 3 generations and that really helped me with figuring out who I am
Hyena Love (3 months ago)
I wish that transgender wasn't a thing, I wish that everyone could be born the gender that fits them. I feel so alone because I feel like I have no one to talk to. Do you have any online recommendations for lgbtq youth support.
idgy pigeon (3 months ago)
First positive"trans"rep Angel from rent
Tommy Whitebear (3 months ago)
So u a straight girl that like to wear guy clothes u still a girl
Tommy Whitebear (3 months ago)
This is so stupid
Anme Seana (3 months ago)
I didn’t even know trans was a thing until eight grade, and you were my first ‘media’ rep
Thank god. I’m a girl but I sometimes feel trapped. I would sometimes like to be a guy and be gay. :/ but I’m also attracted to girls. So I’m basically bisexual and bigender.
I think I might be a gay transman. I don't like girls much in a romantic way. However,the thought of being in a gay relationship makes me uncomfortable becuase it might make me a little less passible. I don't know how to cope with this becuase my mom alread thinks im not trans,I already get hate for being trans,and I feel wierdly dysphoric about liking guy's. HELP!
FunTimesHD (3 months ago)
I thought you were a breakfast channel
brezjnev (3 months ago)
hahah... i was trying hard to find out if girls could get man beards and muscles(at the time i wasnt sure why i was doing it) and i stumbled upon a ty turner t-update video... could never before really imagine what a transgender man could be like
Fruity Pebbles (4 months ago)
This should be included in sex ed .. For real..
P03ticJustice (4 months ago)
You're still a straight female riding the wave
Hummer (4 months ago)
SAAAAAAAAAAMEEEE
Gather Slauter! (4 months ago)
Believe or not and I am sorry to say but...TIkTOK...oof that feels good to get of my chest!!?!✌️🏳️‍🌈❤️👍
CeCe Jackson (4 months ago)
I hate close-minded social circles. Im from the deep south too. Im glad you did finally figure out your life and can live as youre comfortable.
Tranny Boi (4 months ago)
Omfg are we the same person?
Abigael Ownby (4 months ago)
i know this is very late, but these videos are very helpful. Also, i am 11 and i think i could be a trans male but i dont think my parents would accept me for who i am and i fell like they would think im doing it for attention and i feel like everypne in my life would think im doing it for attention if i come out to them.
MayaApieyah (4 months ago)
The first positive representation of trans people I had was reading Magnus Chase by Rick Riordan, specifically the second and third books. The character Alex was gender fluid and kickass. I would recommend it to late elementary to middle school. It also tackled the concept of being gender fluid and homeless because of your asshole parents. It also hosts a jumble of very diverse characters including a pan main character, a Muslim, and more all while being contained in a very entertaining universe containing Norse mythology like Loki and Thor without the inaccuracies the Marvel movies have. Great book
Robert Martinez (5 months ago)
🏳️‍🌈⃠
scmnz (5 months ago)
Even now, allot of the time I feel like i have to pick which to be visibly proud of incase the validity of the other gets called into question.
shoroe dobare (5 months ago)
I am ftm and gay
Krogan Popy (5 months ago)
OMG! You look just like Jackson Howell! I just realized that!
Krogan Popy (5 months ago)
SAME! But with Boys.
Oliver Moone (5 months ago)
I feel this so strongly. I distinctly remember having this passing thought about dating this girl back in middle school but the thought of being lesbian made me so uncomfortable and disgusted that I convinced myself I didn't like girls. Turns out I do like girls, but I'd just prefer to be their boyfriend and not their girlfriend XD
1.I have feelings for girls and boys but no one gets when I said it 2.when I say facts about LGBT people every one looks at me and most people say "your trying to act smart" 3.a kid in my class wants to be a girl but said there sisters said "you can't we want a brother not a sister"
Eli Reed (5 months ago)
I mean I live in the northern agricultural part of Texas nobody here is that judgemental. I have friends here that are gay and trans they aren’t having that many issues. You have shitty people everywhere but they aren’t anymore here than anywhere else.
River Dawson (5 months ago)
I don't know but I think I'm starting to have a boy crush on you...hahaha
Fandom Domination (5 months ago)
I’m so glad that a portion of kids today (including me) are growing up in a place where the knowledge is there if you can find it. I’m a cis, straight girl, but seeing all those different genders and orientations is so amazing. Y’ALL ARE AMAZING!!!! My first representation I saw was Ash Hardell!
Andy Neloe (5 months ago)
the first time i discovered what transgender is was when i was watching a documentary on Thailand lady boys and even though my conservative background thought it was gross i was happy to see that those people are living the life of who they really are and that their happy.
meme review (5 months ago)
friend:-------------- me:/-/-/---------////////////----------
prey flores (5 months ago)
never thought it would really be possible! but hey stumble upon this and made my day! I thought i was the only one. Thank you so much for sharing! 🤗
Mer - (5 months ago)
The first time I heard of trans people existing was a news program like 60 minutes or something that shared the lives of 3 trans kids, one of them I remember was Jazz Jennings. The first time I saw it in a positive educated light was probably not until I was 16 and my best friend came out as trans and I learned more about it through him and YouTube because I was questioning my own sexuality which led me to trans resources
Nicholas Thompson (5 months ago)
Thank your for doing this video
Emily Wilding (6 months ago)
Same. But kinda different. Me born as a girl but I'm genderfluid, and pansexual
Raven333W (6 months ago)
I’m trans and my birthday is March 31st lol
Devon K (6 months ago)
Same same same! I totally figured out I was trans in middle school but convinced myself it couldn't be true because it was so much easier to be a straight girl than to be a gay trans guy! Three years later I learned you can't just ignore it all...
Jett Jo johnson (6 months ago)
your a transtrender. I really wish you would not talk about transgender issues. I'm transgender and a gay transgender woman at that. I always know that ,I was wired female. I did not understand why I did not become attracted to guys . so yes , back then there was only transsexuals in to guys . i was questioning my self a lot . then I had to face that, I was gay. over time I never known of another gay transgender woman until about 5 years ago. however, I'm not a transtrender, I have suffers gender disphoria as from little to today.
RPG Elfgirl (6 months ago)
My first positive trans rep was one time in middle school (8th grade I think? Idk) when our health teacher explained to us what transgender meant/was, and she seemed very supportive (bless her) (I'm cis btw)
Nick Name (6 months ago)
First positive rep? Around age 20 (so 8 years ago/8 years before starting social transition). My BF introduced me to a trans woman who actually totally confused me by being very masculine but still sure of being a woman. I saw her changing her cars engine in her pink string top...which would have been totally sexy in a straight cis-girl...still...with a non-passing trans-woman I was confused. Glad I know better nowadays when coming to terms with being a feminine gay trans dude myself :-D
Jackson Smith (6 months ago)
*2018 was when I saw the first positive trans experience. I first heard of it on the news as a kid and they made it seem like it was a disorder.*
Bobby Rick (6 months ago)
You get your cheeks bust for Christmas?
Lynn Burch (6 months ago)
The first positive trans person I saw was probably in a youtube video (buzzfeed or something like that). It was mostly about how many trans people's gender doesn't match the one on their ID (and state laws regarding changing that).
Everytime I feel sad I watch this video 💖💖💖
Anonimous User (6 months ago)
I am the same accept mtf and a lesbian
Tiago (6 months ago)
This video is ME.
Virgil Alexander (6 months ago)
I still don't know who I am. And I'm 18, so...hoping I can figure it out eventually.
Lydia Skinner-noble (7 months ago)
I am so thankful that me and my family go to an all accepting church and I have friends and family that love me no matter what. Also I have lots of people within the LGBTQIA+ community that I can look up to, plus I live right behind the "gay part of town".
Alex the boi (7 months ago)
Im trans. ..... And bisexual THIS IS A CURSE
Dan (7 months ago)
My first encounter with a transperson was when I was dating a chick in 8th grade who transitioned after 4 months of us dating. I was super cool with it, and now he is one of my role models despite being a year younger than I am. I am FtM much like him, so we started as a lesbian couple, then were a straight couple, and if we dated now, we could be a gay couple. Also, as a human in Kansas, I definitely understand that conditioning thing. I am lucky to grow up in a more liberal area of Kansas, but it is still hard to find role models and to deal with life and people and stuff.
Charlie Rohkohl (7 months ago)
27, and just coming to acceptance that I am a dude. Thanks for this video. Grew up in a big catholic family who already looked down on being gay/bi/lez/queer.
txsphere (7 months ago)
When I was in high school in Mesquite TX, my older brother had a trans female room mate. I remember my mother's reaction at Thanksgiving when he brought Karen to the house. Karen smoked lots of cigarettes and drank lots of coffee so she fit in.
Sommer Lugert (7 months ago)
shut out to Anthony and Calvin the dudes who made me realise i was a dude and doubled as my first positive queer representation.
Sommer Lugert (7 months ago)
i identify as a gay trans guy and being gay is seriously hurting my internal validity. im not really that femine, and i don't hate my body, well mabye i do a little, and i don't think i could live intirely as a femenine girl or a macho dude, even though I'm more macho then fem. help?
Sommer Lugert (7 months ago)
also, never address me as Sommer ever. my name is Alexander Keleb L*****. so u can call me alexander or alex or keleb or ke.
NebraskaMax (7 months ago)
My extremely sheltered upbringing is why my first positive trans rep was the main character in Transamerica. I know there are issues with movies like that, not least being a cis actor playing a trans character, and I won't defend those issues as not-problematic. However, it was an overall positive influence. Teddy Geiger's song 'Confidence' was big around the same time I watched Transamerica, but she wasn't out at the time so I had no idea.
Alfred The Orange Horse (7 months ago)
Whatever Oprah says is LAW!!
ItsNat (7 months ago)
SAME! When I first came out as trans I was with my current partner today (we have been together almost 10 years and we had been dating for about a year-and-a-half when I came out to him). I am also an FTM and I was afraid that he wouldn't want to be with me when I came out, but thankfully he stayed and accepted me for who I am. It never really occurred to me that I "couldn't" be a gay trans man until my mom struggled with understanding what I was going through, and told me it would be easier for her to understand if I was transitioning into a man and left my boyfriend to be with a woman. It was really confusing for me. But thankfully she got over that mindset. We are still together and engaged actually. I used to call myself bi, because I can consider some women being attractive, but I feel like I could never see myself sexually with a woman. That's just my preference. So I identify as gay. My fiance is extremely supportive and also identifies as gay, and sees me as the man I was meant to be. Also the first time I ever saw a positive representation of trans people was an episode of Degrassi, when they first introduced the trans character Adam. And that was actually how I discovered I was trans.
PsychedPerspective (7 months ago)
Yassss but I’m like more than 90 percent sure I’m just a gay trans guy lol but yesssss I feel where you are coming from. Literally has been my experience. I came out as Trans Masculine October 11th 4 days before my bday.
Sevenfawm (7 months ago)
Me! Omg this is exactly me. This is one of the huge reasons why I just thought that I was just a "tomboy". Not until I was around 25 that I realized it, and now I'm 27 and started T :D Thanks for this video!
Pop Up Adventures (7 months ago)
I wish I saw this video about 15 years ago, I would have been so less confused as a kid. I 100% relate to this video so much.
K_. Marias (7 months ago)
I am a proud Bisexual!
Uber Man Tampa (7 months ago)
Uh yeah, you can be both. The two are different. One associates gender identity and the other is sexual identity. Although, if you were a woman and gay, now your a man, at the end, if you sleep with a man, you're straight, a woman? Gay
Tony 410 (8 months ago)
What’s funny is when you haven’t came out to someone and you start talking about the *cough cough* D- and they ask how hard it was to come out to your parents and you think in your head that was the easy part
Karen Vanessa N. (8 months ago)
You are not gay because you are a woman so it's natural that you like men.
Aloof Floof (8 months ago)
The broadway take on La Cage Aux Folles has some really amazing, beautiful themes around early trans women (I believe it was from the 80's?). The song "I Am What I Am" literally gives me chills. I mean, other than Jackson Bird, that's the immediate positive trans rep coming to mind, and it's not even a rep really, more of a... an acceptance arc.
OhHeyJess07 (8 months ago)
There is a Liberty University ad on this video. 😲
Lydia Butler (8 months ago)
First positive trans representative was, * ironically* on the Oprah show. Jennifer Finney Boylan had just published her book about her trans experience. I had heard the word before, but had no practical knowledge of what it meant. Read the book after loving the interview.
friendlySkeletor (8 months ago)
"oprah said it, so it had to be true" same
Jack Doyle (8 months ago)
My son is a teen who is transitioning and he just came out as gay. It's really truly a thing.
Jack Doyle (8 months ago)
Yes yes and yes
ScaredReality (8 months ago)
Positive trans rep; Jackson Bird and Bex Taylor Klaus(voice actor of Pidge from Voltron)
P Granger-Stylinson (8 months ago)
Only social media. And then in rl during a pride parade (ofc it was positive then xD)
JungleEddie (8 months ago)
Of course you can be trans and gay. One is who you are and one is who you love/lust. I love/lust women and if I became a woman tomorrow that wouldn't stop
Hads (8 months ago)
I was 2 months away from 28 years old when I came out as agender. Now I use the label agenderboy, after really exploring my masculinity and validating soft masculinity as masculinity. Before I figured out that I’m non-binary trans I identified as pansexual, but now I identify as gay, which to me that means I’m trans and I only date trans people. I don’t have a genital preference and I’m attracted to masculinity, femininity, and androgyny, and there is a special place in my heart for soft masculine trans guys.
Myles Fe (8 months ago)
I identified as bi then nb and panromantic and I felt like I wasn't trans enough (cause I'm nb) then I felt like i wasn't gay enough because I thought I was a girl and I had a preference for girls but suddenly I was closer to a boy? I'm not a boy but I lean towards that direction on the spectrum of gender.
Rainbow Ghoul (8 months ago)
I learned about transgenderism from watching miles McKenna
97dprose (8 months ago)
I’d have to say the first in depth positive representation of trans people I saw was on YouTube, Stef Sanjati talking about being one year on estrogen.
Kadomex (8 months ago)
TV taught me that being a "transsexual" was wrong and that having a sex change was something to make fun of and just completely absurd. Something only crazy people did. It wasnt until I started spending most of my time on YouTube that I learned the term "transgender" and that it wasn't anything like the television made it seem. Stef Sanjati was the first trans YouTuber I watched, iirc. And she made everything so much clearer. This wasnt something weird or something that warranted ridicule. It was a real, painful experience that people were going through and the media was making fun of them. It sickens me now. YouTubers were what helped me realize that I was just as human as anyone else. The only problem is that my brain rejects my body. That's it. That's the only thing separating me from "the norm". I'm so glad that we have the option to transition here. My heart aches for my brothers and sisters living in countries where they can be legally executed for being transgender. Those countries have a ways to go. Gender expression and freedom is just as important as religion.

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